( TEXT POST )

[peaked]

TEXTING POST!

pick a character. please do not leave a blank comment bc i'll legit pick a nasty tfln. you'll regret it, trust me. gen texting, midnight texting, tfln texting, crisis texting, etc. my cat will tag u. also tfln overflow bc captcha hurts my self-esteem — sorry, idk what steve's name is. isn't it chandler bong??? TFLN <div align="right"><small>( from <a href="">here</a> )</div></small></div>

Comments

[explosion]

Mucho gusto. You know how that emoji makes me very hot and bothered. 🌚🌝🌚🌝

[earpiest]

Can we just make out like normal girlfriends?

[explosion]

Like this? 🥸👉👌👹💦💦💦

[earpiest]

No 😤🥺😤🥺

I was trying to be sexy earlier by the way, when you started bringing those in

[explosion]

Is that not being sexy? I think they are very cute. I thought you did, too. You are always giving me 😫 which seems to be a pleasantly screaming face.

[earpiest]

That face is a despair face, and it’s nothing like my pleasantly screaming face, for the record.

so in this emoji nightmare, is this the symbol for a vibratory? 🤖

[explosion]

Why would that be the symbol for a vibrator? It is a robot.

☄️This is the symbol of a vibrator. It makes more sense.

[earpiest]

Walk me through how a burning rock hurtling through space makes more sense. 👽

( this is where she has chosen to lay her affection... smh )

[explosion]

Because when you ride the Scarlet Vibrator, you are soaring into space, feeling like you are beyond a mere human being.

Are you not?

[earpiest]

You’re very poetic and very cocky. I don’t know about the vibrator, but being with you makes me feel pretty out of this world amazing. Not even sex stuff, just being with you.

[explosion]

[ 🤮 ]

Really? It does?

[ she adds after a moment: ]

😌

[earpiest]

It does. You’re my magical scarlet unicorn.

But also a huge pain in my butt. 👻

[explosion]

With the strap on, I can be. All you have to do is say "Wanda!" 🤤

[ she's so fucking smooth sometimes. 🎤 ]

[earpiest]

oh my god, I’m going to stop trying to be cute

is that something you’d be into? 🥸

[explosion]

Yes.

[ she sends that immediately. ]

Is it something you would be into?

I do think you should continue to try being cute. I am very into that. 🧞‍♀️

[earpiest]

I’m into the idea of trying it. I mean, I tried it once with an ex, but that was a disaster. I think trying with you would be fun.

Oh, so I have to try to be cute? You don’t think I’m just inherently cute? 🪂

[explosion]

If I thought you were cute without even trying, you wouldn't go out of your way to embarrass yourself in front of me.

And I like it when you embarrass yourself. 🍤

[earpiest]

That’s so mean!

You’re mean. 🦤

[explosion]

Are you calling me a duck?

Because I would like to duck you. 🥸

[earpiest]

It was a dodo.

Which works because I’d like to do you. 🎯

[explosion]

[ it takes her a moment. ]

🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸

Mucho gusto. I think you can dodo me. It is only fair after you've embraced the very good use of the emojis. Do you agree? Not agree?

[earpiest]

I think it’s the least I deserve, at this stage.

🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝

[explosion]

I could be convinced to completely forget about you rudely declaring yourself single.

[earpiest]

Really? Do you have a checklist for me? I could really use one of those to work from. Help me make sure I meet all your needs.

[explosion]

Firstly, you rescind your single status officially and promptly.