( TEXT POST )

[peaked]

TEXTING POST!

pick a character. please do not leave a blank comment bc i'll legit pick a nasty tfln. you'll regret it, trust me. gen texting, midnight texting, tfln texting, crisis texting, etc. my cat will tag u. also tfln overflow bc captcha hurts my self-esteem — sorry, idk what steve's name is. isn't it chandler bong??? TFLN <div align="right"><small>( from <a href="">here</a> )</div></small></div>

Comments

[earpiest]

Walk me through how a burning rock hurtling through space makes more sense. 👽

( this is where she has chosen to lay her affection... smh )

[explosion]

Because when you ride the Scarlet Vibrator, you are soaring into space, feeling like you are beyond a mere human being.

Are you not?

[earpiest]

You’re very poetic and very cocky. I don’t know about the vibrator, but being with you makes me feel pretty out of this world amazing. Not even sex stuff, just being with you.

[explosion]

[ 🤮 ]

Really? It does?

[ she adds after a moment: ]

😌

[earpiest]

It does. You’re my magical scarlet unicorn.

But also a huge pain in my butt. 👻

[explosion]

With the strap on, I can be. All you have to do is say "Wanda!" 🤤

[ she's so fucking smooth sometimes. 🎤 ]

[earpiest]

oh my god, I’m going to stop trying to be cute

is that something you’d be into? 🥸

[explosion]

Yes.

[ she sends that immediately. ]

Is it something you would be into?

I do think you should continue to try being cute. I am very into that. 🧞‍♀️

[earpiest]

I’m into the idea of trying it. I mean, I tried it once with an ex, but that was a disaster. I think trying with you would be fun.

Oh, so I have to try to be cute? You don’t think I’m just inherently cute? 🪂

[explosion]

If I thought you were cute without even trying, you wouldn't go out of your way to embarrass yourself in front of me.

And I like it when you embarrass yourself. 🍤

[earpiest]

That’s so mean!

You’re mean. 🦤

[explosion]

Are you calling me a duck?

Because I would like to duck you. 🥸

[earpiest]

It was a dodo.

Which works because I’d like to do you. 🎯

[explosion]

[ it takes her a moment. ]

🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸

Mucho gusto. I think you can dodo me. It is only fair after you've embraced the very good use of the emojis. Do you agree? Not agree?

[earpiest]

I think it’s the least I deserve, at this stage.

🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝

[explosion]

I could be convinced to completely forget about you rudely declaring yourself single.

[earpiest]

Really? Do you have a checklist for me? I could really use one of those to work from. Help me make sure I meet all your needs.

[explosion]

Firstly, you rescind your single status officially and promptly.

[earpiest]

Fully rescinded.
I am entirely and completely taken by one Wanda Maximoff. Accept no substitutes.

[explosion]

🫀

[ she's so happy. ]

Secondly, you will tell me if the vibrator is red and if you think it should be red. What color do you want?

[earpiest]

Don’t you mean 🍕? a heart is way too literal.

🙈 It’s red. It’s not the right shade at all, so it’s more like purple-red. It was the closest they had in the model I wanted :’(

Maybe you can make sure it’s the right shade?

[explosion]

Do you want me to?

[ it doesn't matter how many times waverly might encourage her to use her powers. wanda acts like she's surprised every time—and she is. to have someone so accepting of her is too good to be true. ]

I can make it vibrate without it needing a battery but... that is too strange, isn't it?

[earpiest]

uh no, that’s extremely environmentally sustainable

make it red
make it vibrate
make me a total mess with it 🥸

[explosion]

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Don't tell Wynonna I can do this. She'll demand so many that I will have no time to make my perfect Waverly vibrator.

[earpiest]

bringing up my sister when I’m asking you to wreck me with a vibrator 😱

that sure was some whiplash for my horniness